Today’s blog is brought to you by the phrase: Oh, but no.
This week is about showing you how authors can take the same words but give you a different feel. Bianca D’Arc and Lexxie Couper came out to play with us today. With no further ado…
Jambrea Jo Jones
Fred went for a walk. He needed to get away from his shrew of a mother-in-law. She was always nagging and telling him he wasn’t good enough for her Henry. Shit it even sounded like her in his head. He couldn’t escape.
Fred was a doctor with his own practice and an ER rotation. He had saved many lives in his day, but no, that wasn’t good enough for her Henry. Henry shouldn’t have to work. Henry should have kids to look after and Fred didn’t spend enough time with Henry.
Henry tried to tell him mom to back off—came to Fred’s defense more times than he could count, but she would come back with—oh, but no, you aren’t good enough, not like that nice boy—what was his name. Shawn was his name and they both new it. Damn it, she couldn’t leave fast enough.
Mari sighed as she kicked off her shoes and put her feet up on the ottoman. “What should we blog about this week? New releases? General observations about life? Sex toys?”
“Sex toys?” Jambrea asked.
“Why not? We’ve both recently gotten some new ones we like.”
Jambrea laughed. “No. What if we do some original writing? Something funny and fun? We could get the ladies on the Heat Wave yahoo group to give us weird phrases and words that we have to use in paragraphs.”
Mari crinkled her nose. “That sounds like hard work.”
Jambrea rolled eyes and giggled. “Shut up. We’re doing it.” She began clicking away on her computer as Mari took a sip of wine and stretched lazily.
Within ten minutes, Jambrea—with the help of friends—had generated the most bizarre list of words and phrases in history. “Here. Here’s what we’re going to write about.”
Mari looked over the list, with one eyebrow raised. “Seriously?”
“Great.” Mari’s tone betrayed the fact she was less than enthusiastic. “You realize we could have been talking about my amazing new little bullet that has two speeds—fast and OMFG. Oh, but no…you decide you’d rather write about fuckerdoodles, clam jams and cockamamie shit like that!”
Jambrea crossed her arms, giving Mari a no-nonsense look. “Just write.”
Oh, but no way was Sally going to put up with that kind of garbage. She kicked off her stiletto heels and got ready to kick some major ass. Who cares if her opponent was bigger and stronger? Sally was fast and small, and really pissed off. Time to let the werewolf know just how much of a bitch she could be.
Oh, but no.
No no no.
There was no way in hell he was putting that thing anywhere near me.
He gave me a crooked smile, and dropped me a wink.
“It won’t hurt,” he promised, moving closer, his fingers wrapped around the daunting length of the device. Device? Huh! More like—
“I guarantee you won’t feel pain. Now open wide.”
I chewed on my bottom lip, closed my eyes and nodded. I trusted him. He was my dentist after all.
The needle pierced the inside of my mouth.
The fucking bastard lied. It hurt like hell!