Places I can’t Live because I’m Scared

At its core, this post is about the weather. Now I know that normally the weather is that topic that’s only used when there’s nothing else to talk about, but for me, that’s just not true. I live in Southern California (or The Southland, as the TV likes to say) and we only talk about weather when shit is about to get real. Now I’d like to clarify that this isn’t true for the rest of california. The central valley, where I grew up, floods and regularly hits temperatures people only think should be found in death valley. There’s plenty of mountains that get snow and get snowed in, and the cost is always under threat of a) sliding off into the ocean (I’m looking at you Malibu) or b) getting eaten by water. California coast residents after the disaster in Japan: “Ruuuuuuuunnn!!!!”

Now, these things are not great, though I’ve nicely isolated myself from them in the center of LA. But what really scares me is the weather…pretty much everywhere else in the country. Hurricanes (I refuse to call anything a tropical storm, if you’ve named it you’ve lost the right to pretend it’s not terrifying) scare the fuck out of me. They aren’t the first reason I probably will never live in the south of the US (loudmouth fast driving liberal hippy being the first) but they’re a close second.

As awful as they are they don’t scare me nearly as much as tornados. The SKY gets ANGRY and sucks stuff up? Nooo! Just…no. I cannot deal with that. Give me a little earth rumble any day.

The Romantic Times convention in 2013 is in Kansas City. When they announced it last year my first thought was “OH HELL NO.” I try to give tornado country a nice wide berth. Then FB (who is from Ireland and doesn’t have a healthy fear of tornados) and the Aussies (who are immune to fear because apparently everything on that continent is dangerous or poisonous) all said they’d drag me if I didn’t agree to go. So off I go, to be sucked into a tornado like that cow in twister.

WIth all that being said…it’s earthquake weather here in LA. Earthquake weather is when it’s hot, muggy and very, very still. You can see Los Angelinos giving the ground the side eye and thinking “I’m trying, I’ve got a prius!”

Either that, or the weather is reflecting the city’s general gloom about school starting again.

2 Responses to “Places I can’t Live because I’m Scared”

  1. I am soo excited it is gonna be in KC yay!!! I have only been here here 7 years but I love it. I don’t worry about tornados in KC in the moral rural areas yeah but not in the metro. I lived in Oregon my whole life 26 years before I left. We volcanos, earthquakes, tsunamis and possible nuclear devastation. I live in Missouri not Kansas seems like Kansas gets more tornados than we do.

  2. Yes, we Aussies are a tough lot,but dont,t worry,if you come here and something happens, we all get in and help out.Seriously, not every thing is dangerous and poisonous,it,s a beautiful place.

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