Guest Blogger – Lena Matthews

Please welcome my special guest today, Lena Matthews.  I was fortunate to meet Lena at last year’s Romanticon.  Besides being the funniest woman I’ve ever met, she’s an amazing author.

Lena, take it away…

First let me say thank you to my homegirl Valerie Tibbs (yes Valerie we’re homegirls, don’t look at me like that) for asking me to blog today. Please keep in mind everything I’ve written here is a reflection of my own twisted unstable mind and in no way reflects the thoughts of the talented cover artist extraordinaire, who made the glorious mistake in asking me to blog. BAWWWAHHH. Now on to the random rant.

I’ve never been a fan of National Single Awareness Day also known as Valentine’s Day to you card buying, candy eating, flower receiving hippies. I’ve always thought it was a pretty crappy holiday made up by “the man” to make the lonely feel more…well lonely.

I also think it totally sucks for women like me, who are too busy, too broke and too overwhelmed to really give a rats-ass about February 14th. Why make my husband feel bad because he doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body. I didn’t marry him because he was a good gift giver, which is a good thing because for our first Christmas together he tried to get me a blender. I married him because I loved him (and I was pregnant but that’s besides the point) and I don’t need a particular day of the year to tell him I love him. I show it every day. I haven’t left him for the hot gardener, and I still let him touch my naughty parts after thirteen years together, so that’s something right…right? (Is this a really bad time to promo my Valentine’s Day book coming out with Loose Id next week…yeah…probably…)

Who made up the rule that on Valentine’s Day we’re supposed to celebrate love between intimate companions only? Why can’t we honor the loves of our lives instead of just the lovers in our lives? Why not our friends who we couldn’t go a day without talking to (shout out to my heterosexual life mate Liz Andrews)? Or our children who taught us the real meaning of love? Or our cats and dogs who show us unconditional love because we feed them and scratch their backs (well maybe not cats cause cats suck)? Hell, why not ourselves? I love me, sometimes I love me two or three times a day. Why can’t I get myself flowers? Huh Cupid? Huh!?!?

Well you know what I say to that?

Fuck society.

Fuck lame Valentine rules.

And Fuck Cupid up his dimpled little ass.

Man, I hate Valentine’s Day … and don’t even get me started on Thanksgiving.

15 Responses to “Guest Blogger – Lena Matthews”

  1. Ahh, interesting take on Valentine’s day. I got married on Valentine’s day. Two events celebrated as one. My husband never forgets our anniversary. And we always have sex on Valentine’s day. The only one we didn’t was the year my son was born only a few days before our anniversary.

  2. I love Valentine’s Day and all the craziness that happens at work. Hey, I work at Loveville Post Office and around 10,000 Valentine’s day cards come through here the week of Valentines! It’s chaos, it’s busy, it’s a time to visit with folks from all over and just not our fairly small neck of the woods. At home, my husband will make an attempt but I really don’t need it. And who says you can’t celebrate Valentine’s day with friends, family and everyone else you love?

  3. Lena you are a mess, a good mess. lol My husband and I do not need this day either to show our love and affection for each other, we do it everyday of the year. Love you.

  4. You are so funny! I can’t wait to see you again! 🙂

  5. Okay, so I hope you’re joking about being broke — cause I need a new laptop!!! Thanks for the spew alert in the beginning Val, but that did not cover it. OMG! Love this and now I am off to find books by this woman!!! Okay, that is too cute, too, the cupid and his dimply butt!!!

    Hugs and hey, Happy Stupid Cupid’s Ass Day!!!

    billi jean

  6. Lena you are bloody funny lol ha ha ha
    Valentines day isn’t important to your love all year.

  7. I agree with Lena. That was too funny youur blog. Thanks for making me laugh and man if I loved myself as much as you do I would never leave the house. I tell everyone i love them at nauseum. Thanks for telling the truth about single awareness day!

  8. See this is why we are bestest friends, we both hate that crappy day! Love you, my heterosexual life partner. You made me laugh, which makes my day.

  9. Brava! Brava! Great funny and sarcastic view of Valentine’s Day. I could care less, about the day because my birthday is on the 17th and way more important. One year, long time ago, this guy I was dating went all out on Valentine’s Day and I got nothing for my birthday. He said, we already celebrated, I disagreed and that was the end of that!

  10. Great post and I too hate National Single Awareness Day…….
    I don’t get what the big deal is about Feb 14th. Most of the time people end up getting gifts that they don’t want or like anyway and it’s a tremendous amount of pressure on men to do something that they might not want to do….I’d rather get a gift any day of the year as long as it’s something that I want or really need:)…thanks for the heads up on your new book- looking forward to it:)

  11. Though I’ve gotten my hubby his Vday presents, and I LOVE to receive presents, it does put a lot of unnecessary pressure on folks and love.

  12. Your a mess Lena but I still love you… I tell hubby on a daily basis that I love him and he never waits until Valentine’s day to bring me flowers.

  13. Love it!! Down with VDAY!! this post is exactly why i love reading Lena’s work : )

  14. […] want to say thank you to all my guest bloggers this week, TA Chase, Cari Quinn, and Lena Matthews.  If you didn’t stop by earlier in the week, click on the links to check them […]

  15. it used to be nice when we wetre in school but now it is like who can spend the most

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