DIY sex toy

Okay, so we had a classy post, let’s do a not so classy post.

There’s this DIY sex toy I’ve heard about for years, but I’ve never had the nerve to try it. You know that if I’m wary it should probably be covered in warning tape and biohazard signs.

The cell phone trick.

Yes, this is going to be exactly what you think it is.

So you take a cell phone, set it to vibrate, put it in a condom, then insert it into you vagina. Then you call yourself (er, from a land line.)

Basically this is a cheap egg vibrator.

Now I’m all for the vibrator, and I’m all for the insertion of things not meant to be inserted (I’m sick in the head like that) but this one worries me for several reasons.

What if your mother, grandparent, pastor, rabbi etc called you phone while it was IN YOUR VAGINA!!!!!!!

not. cool.

What if you destroyed your cell phone by getting it wet. You don’t want to explain that to the help desk people. I called the advice nurse once after my back made a “popping” noise during sex and it wasn’t the best phone call.

OMG cell phones are WIDE. I like cock’s they’re a good shape for going in a vagina. That’s why I look for cock shaped things when I’m wandering my house. I’m currently eye the drumsticks for my rock band game. I do NOT look for things that have more in common with a platypus rather than a freaking cock!

I used to have a blackberry–NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. My iphone is slightly less wide, but I also don’t want to be hearing little email dings from inside my vagina, you know?

Anyone ever tried this before?

Lila

8 Responses to “DIY sex toy”

  1. dreabecraft Says:

    There is no way my phone would go in my hooha. LOL. I have one of those backberry type and it so would not fit. Not to meantion there is no way I would be able to use it again without laughing my ass off. Seriously that would be bad lol.

  2. OMG Lila!!! Only YOU!!!
    hugs
    molli

  3. Heather P Says:

    I never tried. Wouldn’t want to after all the horror stories I have heard regarding mayo jars and what the ER staff has to say about that. lol

  4. Nooooooo but thanks for the laugh and the imagery Lila, hahaha!

  5. Not a chance. For those looking for a little vibe inside- try a “We Vibe”. When I was at the store I thought the clerk said Wii Vibe and that it was meant to be used with the Wii I got for the kids. What a relief when I finally saw the spelling I clued in.

  6. OMG!!! I am soooo sheltered, never even heard about this one….so, question, why not buy a vibrator? I mean, Mayo Jars? Phones? Hello!!! Not for inserting down below! LOL Very, very funny!

    hugs,

    billi jean

  7. Nancy Gilliland Says:

    This puts a whole new meaning to “you can take that cell phone and shove it” doesn’t it? OMG I am not going to get the image out of my head anytime soon-I should have waited to read this one. Now people will be wondering all day why I’m smirking at my edj.

  8. Courtney S Says:

    WOW!! Ummmm…so my BlackBerry is SOO never going “downtown” (cuz it won’t fit & EWWW) This brings to mind the urban legend we used to tell in middle school of the girl who decided to get friendly w/ good ol’ Oscar Mayer’s wiener. The story goes that she was getting busy w/ a hot dog & it broke off inside her, requiring a trip to the ER. I’ve also heard stories from some of my friends who are nurses about “repurposing” flashlights, spray paint cans, etc. OUCH!

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